As I mentioned in my first post, my wife and I have started a D/s relationship with respect to sex. Although she professes a desire to submit and surrender, she constantly pushes back on my orders.
As an example, we are going out to dinner with friends this weekend and I explained I wanted her submission to me throughout the evening. Although she happily agreed to such an arrangement, everything I mention gets a very cold reception. I want to select her clothes, even explaining I want to take her shopping for a new outfit. She then finds a logistical reasons we can’t go shopping; I resolve the logistical issues and now she is stating the type of clothes “she” wants to wear…clothes which are in direct conflict with what I had previously identified would be her attire (heels, thigh highs, dress). When I explain that her choices are in direct conflict with what i had in mind, she pushes back with excuses why my desires aren’t good choices (people don’t wear nylons to dinner, it’s too cold for a dress, etc. )
Another example is that I desire to spank her, she will bend over knee as ordered, but it usually is preceded by puppy dog eyes and a pouty face, and a general hesitation and reluctancy to follow an order.
I don’t know if I should force my will upon her, thus possibly causing her to pull away, or do I drop my orders, thus showing a weakness and thus giving her the impression that my wants and desires aren’t absolute, and are instead points of negotiation.
I am confused as to how to resolve these type of conflicts moving forward. I think my issue may be that i am moving faster than she is ready for, thus I am constantly setting us up for conflict. By taking smaller steps, I can feel more confident in requiring her submission without fear she will pull back.
As you can see, I am a new D trying to find the correct path to lead my s.